Broke Boyz From Fresno
Hey everyone it's Martin from the Broke Boyz From Fresno Podcast, my goal here is to entertain, inspire, and uplift our community. I'm all about keeping it real, sharing my daily struggles, and motivating others who might be going through the same. Join me as we navigates life’s challenges, supports one another, and builds a stronger, more connected community together.
Broke Boyz From Fresno
The Art of Letting Go Doesn't Mean Giving Up Who You Are
Martin and special guest Rockstar Turtle (Ivan) dive deep into heartbreak, healing, and finding purpose after life's toughest moments. The conversation ranges from unpublished drunk episodes to global podcast reach, but centers on Ivan's recent breakup and his powerful journey toward healing and self-discovery.
• Ivan shares his experience going through his first major breakup just eight days prior to recording
• Rather than numbing his pain, Ivan chose to feel his emotions fully and surround himself with supportive friends
• The importance of the "30-day no contact" rule when healing from heartbreak
• Finding your purpose changes everything - Ivan realizes his purpose is "healing hearts"
• You cannot change other people, but you can inspire them
• The "Let Them" theory – stop giving energy to people who don't reciprocate
• Life's challenges and mistakes in your 20s shape who you become
• The podcast has reached listeners in 16 different countries
Listen to Broke Boys on all major platforms including iHeartRadio, Pandora, Spotify and more. Follow on Instagram and TikTok @brokeboys_FF.
Follow us @ brokeboyz_ff on Instagram and TikTok
Intro Music by Rockstar Turtle- Broke Boyz (999)
Christmas Intro Song by Nico
Welcome back to another episode of the Broke Boys. I'm Moran, and today I got a special guest, my boy, Rockstar Turtle. Hi guys, Hi guys, Hi guys. So I know from the last episode that we made with Juan, you had a little too much.
Speaker 2:I was drunk bro.
Speaker 1:I was drunk.
Speaker 2:Let's just say it.
Speaker 1:And I was stressed because I was like, fuck, I haven't published anything, I haven't done anything content-wise, so anything I haven't done anything like um content wise. I was like let me ask ivan real quick if he could come and review it, just because, um, one thing with my guests is I'm not gonna publish something that you guys don't approve or you guys don't like, you know, so I'm never gonna put you guys on the spot like that, um, so that's why I wanted you to make sure and check it out and you know, let me know what you think. So when you were listening, when you were re-listening to it.
Speaker 2:Give me your thoughts, bro. Oh my god. So at first I was like, I was like you know what, it's not even a big deal. You know like maybe I should just let him release it. And that was like that was that was just me before listening to the audio it was funny, don't get me wrong it was funny but it's, it's again, it's a little personal.
Speaker 2:If it's too personal, like I'm not gonna, I'm not gonna put your shit out there like that yeah, and then you send me the audio file and I listened to it and it was cool at first, but 10 minutes later, and then 10 minutes after that, and then 10, 10 minutes after that. It just got worse. Yeah, because I was talking about nothing, bro I was.
Speaker 1:I had a few gems, you know? Yeah, no, you did you did, but it was like but then it just didn't make sense. I think there was a point too in the interview where I was just like what are you talking about? What happened? I'm confused.
Speaker 2:Yeah, Like I was so, like I kind of lost track a lot and I was like, oh wow, yeah, but I get it.
Speaker 1:You know, those nights, uh, that's not uncommon for us to like, hey, let's kick back, let's fucking drink a few brewskis, let's fucking relax. You know, uh, that's not uncommon for for us, yeah, but that day you took the whole 18 pack bro, I know, dude, I was god damn, bro, god damn that shit was funny man hey, you know what I try to stop doing?
Speaker 2:that, um, whenever I get in my feels I'll buy, you know, like a nice pack, you know, but I'll like, I'll down them. I'll fist those beers, bro, I'll fucking drink Straight double fisting yeah. And then like I fist them, so Pause, Pause, Hold on hey yo. Hey, relax. Who are you fisting? It's Sunday man, relax. Yeah, I would drink those beers so fast.
Speaker 1:Yeah.
Speaker 2:But it wouldn't hit me to like the six, seven beer and I'd be like fuck, but I still keep going. I'm like fuck it. I'm already here, but I stop myself from doing that. That's good.
Speaker 1:You gave yourself like a little break.
Speaker 2:Yeah.
Speaker 1:Yeah.
Speaker 2:Yeah, I don't want to. You know, I don't want to feed into that habit, Gotcha. Yeah. But yeah, I listened to the pod. I said no, maybe we shouldn't release it.
Speaker 1:Yeah, well, like I said that, I'm not gonna put you guys out there if you on the spot, if you guys don't like it, you guys don't like. I'm never gonna put you guys like that. Thank you, man. That's I'd rather ask and wait, because people can wait for these episodes. They don't have to be like, oh I have to. You know, straight back to back, I would love to. So that way it shows the consistency and it shows people's, you know, yeah, they pay more attention to it, but at the same time it's also important for my guest yeah, I'm not gonna do.
Speaker 2:You guys like that but I do apologize that it couldn't be done any faster no, no, don't worry about it, dude I.
Speaker 1:We're consumed with life, we're consumed with, with work and we're always busy, so I don't knock you for it, and I know other other listeners that are listening right now that they won't. They won't be upset. I know people are still going to come back and they're still going to listen to the broke boy, so I'm still excited to do it.
Speaker 1:I'm grateful to do it yeah and there's like little investments that I'm able to do, like this whole thing, and start it because I was literally having this conversation with my family because, uh, well, before I continue, let's roll the intro before I forget I know I tend to do that. So let's go ahead and let's roll the intro. We them broke boys from the hood.
Speaker 2:We on them, issues understood won't catch his lack. And we that good. We always winning like we should. We flying high, high, we butterfly up to the sky. No way you catching us. Goodbye.
Speaker 1:Welcome back. So what I was saying is I have family that will ask and there's times where I'm like I don't want to be pursued or be seen as like or like, oh, you're doing, doing content, you think you're better than everybody. I don't want to be like that type of person either. Um, so I don't talk about it to family and I don't say anything to family. If people ask, I answer you know, I'll talk about it and I think that's where I'm bad at at like networking myself and be like oh yeah, I have this platform, this is what I do.
Speaker 2:It's still hard for me to do it sometimes okay, you know what I do the same thing if people want. If people ask that I do like, if I do music, I'll speak about it yeah but if they don't ask, I won't say anything. And yeah, yeah, it's hard it's it's.
Speaker 1:It's a weird like finding your balance, but anyway. So when they ask about me or they asked about it, I'm sorry, I talked about it and I told them like well, I think now I've been prolonging doing videos on YouTube and Spotify for a long time, I used to say just because it wasn't because of the right equipment or anything, and I just kept finding excuses. And I told you this, like earlier this year like I'm challenging myself to do new things, I'm challenging myself to network and be out there a little bit more. My social anxiety push, you know, just trying to be more out there, more social networking, if I in in that sort of aspect. So I told cat was like well, I need to make a leap and I need to figure something out leap of faith, yeah, and then her Changu, you, the real Jay Verity, all pursued me or all like pushed me to pursue vlogging.
Speaker 1:Yeah, I want to make that very, very clear, because we give credit where credit is due. So you guys all get credit on pushing me to be more inspired to do vlogs and just pick up the camera and just do it. And so I just I got the pocket 3, the dji pocket 3, and I made that investment into the platform. So that way it's like okay, like now I have no excuse. Now it's like let's, let's go, let's do it. The gopro was just giving me a little bit wait, like a lot more issues than what it should and um, and yeah. So, like with this whole deal that I have with them, I have to start pushing.
Speaker 1:I have to take advantage of the opportunities that I have yeah um, so yeah, so I made this investment and I'm glad that I did. And and again, like I'm, I'm glad that you could be a part of it, and again, like we had this other episode prior, a few weeks prior from the other one that you said that you were drunk, that one was a little bit deeper, that one was a little bit, you know, getting to know who Ivan is rather than Rockstar Turtle.
Speaker 2:Yeah.
Speaker 1:So I want to ask you like like, how are you doing now, like an update? Is there an update? How are? How is ivan?
Speaker 2:you know what I told myself with my journey of growth? That I'm gonna be more honest and no more lying. You know, just speak it how it is and just say the truth. But, ivan, me, I've been doing really good, you know. But for those who don't know, I my girl broke up with me, or my ex, she broke up with me eight days ago and I love this girl, you know, and this is my first actual relationship, so it kind of impacted me very hard it kind of impacted me very hard and the first one, two, three days is very hard, you know.
Speaker 2:Yeah, because, like, how do you go from like loving somebody to like Completely strangers yeah. And I would hear that I would see things like that on Instagram, you know, but I wouldn't like understand. I do understand, but like now, it just hits deeper.
Speaker 1:Yeah, yeah.
Speaker 2:And the first three days I was. I was going through it, bro. Like you know, I loved her. I really wanted her to be in my life. Yeah, and you know I'm a lover I loved her. I really wanted her to be in my life yeah. And you know, I'm a lover, I'm a fighter and I will fight to the end. But when things had to end it almost I don't know.
Speaker 1:It was hard to say goodbye, yeah, yeah.
Speaker 2:And I was going to say goodbye, yeah, yeah, and I I was gonna fight too, but for some reason there was this feeling where I had to respect her decision and I was like, okay, like I respect your decision, let's just spend the night and day one last time, and then we'll just part ways yeah that was like last week, literally yeah and yeah, dude, it was hard.
Speaker 2:It was very hard, you know, because I spent every day with this girl and I also did a lot of self-healing, not just for myself but for her too, because she's my partner and I can go deeper into that.
Speaker 1:But I just want to like give a little summary, like a little surface level, yeah, yeah and um, yeah, so be.
Speaker 2:So the first two days, what is it so a week from now? Actually, the first two, three days. It was very hard. I couldn't sleep, I couldn't eat, but I told myself that you cannot let yourself go in a dark spot again yeah don't numb yourself. Feel these feelings, because if you don't, you're just gonna like save them for later. Deal with them now, so you don't have to do it later yeah and that's what I did, and luckily I had friends.
Speaker 2:I had my boy isaac francisco. Uh, my friend daisy, who else um? My boy nate alex? You know, elena, all these people that I'm really close with yeah one. Um, they were there to support me and for those who are going through a breakup and you really want to move forward and not give in as in like texting her, call your friends, like whenever you have the feeling of like wanting to text her, and fucking forward like a lawn chair, you know text your friends.
Speaker 2:I'm telling you right now, I don't know, I don't care if it's your mom, your dad, your brother, your friends or your you know text somebody that isn't text somebody, call them, tell them that you need them or you need to talk, because what I've learned is that I'm not going to allow myself to look back. I'm going to keep pushing forward and grow as a person, and I have friends that are willing to be there for me and thankfully, I did also listen to podcasts within like. So the first day through the fifth day, I listen to a lot of podcasts about heartbreak ups and how to grow and how to be a man and just a lot of, you know, just growth yeah, yeah content, and that has helped me a lot too, because that's that's my mission.
Speaker 2:to grow as a person, I want to be better and I want to just create this new version of me.
Speaker 1:Yeah be a better version of yourself. Rebuild you.
Speaker 2:Yeah, yeah, so I also worked out a lot. That's my way of dealing with pain pain just working out and spending time with friends. I haven't journaled, it was okay. So funny thing too, not funny, but uh but uh but, uh, but it was hard for me to listen to music and to journal and to sleep in my room, because those three things made me think about her. So I didn't listen to music for like four days. I didn't journal, because she was the one that inspired me to keep journaling.
Speaker 2:So that was kind of like I'm not ready yet Toss those journals you ain't journaling I'm not ready to journal yet. And then three huh. What's the third one? Ah, your bedroom oh yeah, the bedroom, everything that I have, you know. She has helped me get you know, or she has gifted me, like she legit got me a desk. I'm like damn bro, thank you, I've been needing a fucking desk yeah.
Speaker 2:But yeah, you know she's very thoughtful and, you know, got me these things that I needed, yeah, but, like, just being in that room, I just couldn't be in it, so that's why I would sleep on the couch or sleep. My way of dealing with things is that I can't be alone, okay, but I'm trying to grow out of that. But and that comes down to like abandonment issues.
Speaker 2:You know I being alone sucks, but I agree with that. But now that I'm in it again, it's a different situation. Yeah, but yeah. But after the fourth, fifth day I kind of just got out of that funk and started, you know, sleeping in my bed again, you know.
Speaker 1:So you get back in routine? Yeah, getting your life back together. Yeah, you know, just back in routine.
Speaker 2:Yeah, I'm getting your life back together yeah, and it felt really good because I was like this is part of life, feel it, don't sweep it under the rug mm-hmm it's gonna be okay yeah and just know you have friends that love you, family that love you, and you need to learn how to love yourself again so you can do things that you used to love, and maybe you'll find other things that you know you will love absolutely, bro, absolutely, and that's that's beautiful too, to get yourself out of that and finding like all over again.
Speaker 1:And first and foremost, I want to say I'm sorry that you have to go through this, through this heartbreak. Um, it doesn't get easy. This. It only gets worse. Let's be honest, because you're sitting there, you, you find small things and and if you were in a long committed relationship or or really just you did everything with them and now you're, you, like you said, be completely strangers yeah, it's hard.
Speaker 1:It's hard and you're completely right. For other people too is, and I've had other other friends and other people that have lost their relationships and gone through this hard break and and they've they've had to deal with it. I always tell them like hey, it's just like every other issue that you go through life. Feel what you got to feel, cry. If you have to cry, do whatever you have to do to feel that pain. But the moment that you're done, stop, yeah, operate. Time to get better, time to rebuild. Time to time to succeed, time to find my passions all over again, because you can't get stuck in that hole and be expected to somebody else. Just come and uplift you.
Speaker 2:Yeah, oh, no, like people are there to help you.
Speaker 1:I'm always going to be there, like, like I said, but there's not going to be anybody that's going to be able to pull you out that pit.
Speaker 2:You have to pull yourself out that yeah, it better be you pulling yourself up at the end of the day, exactly exactly, yeah, and that's that's important.
Speaker 1:That's important, then, that you find yourself and find your purpose, and and what I'm bad at is that I found peace in my own isolation. I work out from a dark place Like it's all pain, it's all hurt, it's all stuff that I go through and I've been through. So when I go to the gym, it's all anger, you know.
Speaker 2:Yeah.
Speaker 1:And I'm used to being alone, I'm used to being by myself. I'm used to hey, I got my partner, but when I go through personal things, I don't share it with her because I don't want to lash out or she doesn't have to carry that burden like I have to carry. So again, like I want her to be happy. And the person I am I'm a broken soul. I have issues, issues I have my own things that, excuse me, I have my own things that I have to figure out as well. Yeah, and I just found peace in my own self-isolation. Like that's why, like, I don't mind being alone. I don't mind any of that, because I found peace in it after a while. You, you tend to find like you're not going to be there for everybody. You're wasting so much energy being there for everybody and not a lot of people are going to like you and respect you. Sometimes it's draining, it's draining your energy. So I found peace in my own self-isolation. I don't mind being alone.
Speaker 2:That's good man. That's good. I feel like people will understand, as long as you communicate how you're feeling.
Speaker 2:not being there for people is okay sometimes, because you gotta sometimes be selfish with your time yeah you know, and you're right, the whole energy thing, like it takes a lot of energy to be there for people and let's say you start off the day being there for people, your energy just drains and drains, drains. Now you have 10 energy left and you wanted to do so much things and you still got to do x, y and z and now you're like kind of mad because you're like, damn, now I don't want to do the things that I want to do anymore yeah well, yeah no, I get you, I completely get you on that.
Speaker 1:And you know what, man, I? I hope that you're okay. I hope everything's going well and everything's going your way as well no, no, it is man.
Speaker 2:I, I have prayed a lot and it almost, it almost feels like if I've been like, because when I prayed this whole last week, I was begging bro, I was begging to god, bro, I swear to swear to, I was gonna say god, but I'm sorry, god, it's sunday, but um, but like you know, I was, I was praying bro, I was like fucking all heart and soul, yeah, and I think it was the third day that I kind of felt this kind of shield over me and I'm like whoa, like damn, like I I told him, like let me, like, please, like help me deal, like help me go through these things with you, like, please, like I like I need your help, like please yeah and then it like I just felt some kind of peace the next day and I'm like, and I woke up and I was like everything's gonna be okay that's good everything's gonna be okay.
Speaker 2:And then also I have me. Juan knows about this, but there's this motto that I go with, you know you only live once no, no, no, it's, it's um it's healing hearts. I think that's my purpose. Okay, to heal hearts. Nice, whether it's my music or just me being there for somebody. Yeah, I think that's my purpose to heal hearts that's beautiful yeah, and I didn't.
Speaker 2:I knew that, but I didn't realize it till last night and I was like damn, all this self-healing, all this like unbought, like just just rewiring. I'm here to heal hearts and that's that's your purpose that's my purpose and I'm like damn, because I also was lost. I didn't know my purpose yeah and I had, and I was trying to like find it every day as I grow and I found it last night. It's good man like I'm.
Speaker 1:I'm here to heal hearts, exactly so yeah, bro, and then, once you find your your purpose, you really just operate in a different perspective.
Speaker 2:You know what you want to do.
Speaker 1:It's almost like a level up that you get and you're just like okay. I know what the fuck I'm doing? Yeah, I don't need none of that shit.
Speaker 2:The vision is clear. The pathway is like empty for you to just go all the way straight, exactly All gas, no brake, bro yeah.
Speaker 1:You know what's to expect it, and you're just like now. It's just like. This is what I've worked so hard to get yeah, in life, and it doesn't mean that, that it has to do with money, it doesn't mean it has to do with anything like that. It's just finding your purpose. It's finding what you want to do. Once you were passionate and you operate in a completely different way, bro.
Speaker 2:You do and it feels good, you know. Yeah, because then now you're not as lost or lost at all. Now you have obstacles to kind of go through, and I don't know. Everything just makes sense. Everything just makes a lot more sense, like you, just said it clears up that path.
Speaker 1:Yeah, and that's the best way that you can put it. When I found my purpose and what I wanted to do and what I was meant to be put on this earth to do is, boom, I locked in and I was like I found it. I found it and I've said it before, I've said it when I was younger, I've said it throughout high school, I've said it when I was younger, I said it throughout high school, I said it throughout college is that I want to be an impact in this world that's my purpose and it doesn't matter if the impact is small or if the impact is big.
Speaker 1:At the end of the day, I'm always going to leave an impact in your soul, in your life, because then there's going to be moments where you're just like fuck. I remember what martin said fuck, this is. And at the end of the day, I'm just a dude making voice on on on spotify, on on literally anywhere, and people will listen to it and people are going to be left with what I have like almost like an imprint yeah in that, in that aspect I feel like this pod is going to help a lot of people.
Speaker 1:You know, a lot of people want to be heard yeah, no, and you're, and you're right, because then I have people that message me, that shoot me an email, that text me, that just swipe up on my stories out of nowhere and they're just like hey, man, you really helped me out, you really inspired me. I had gotten an email from this gentleman. I wish I could pull up my phone, but I can't, um, and I posted it on my instagram story because I was just like any type of of positive message that I enjoy and that makes me feel like proud of my accomplishments. I'm gonna share it. I'm gonna share it for everybody else to see, and all that. And this guy literally has his own book of of self-growth of what he went through oh, yeah, and
Speaker 1:he was like, let me know if I can get on, and I and I'm just like cool, like I want to do it. And seeing he was like let me know if I can get on, and I'm just like cool, I want to do it. And seeing he was a military veteran from North Carolina and I was like okay, now I'm interested, now I want to know these people, now I want them to really express and tell their story Again like who? I can't believe that there's people that that are literally running across broke boys from different states, from different countries. Like it baffles me and it's crazy how impactful it goes out. And even before when I used to say like it's almost like worldwide it is People listen from the UK, people listen from the UK, people listen from the Netherlands, greece. It's random places where I'm just like who the fuck would? And they go through it. Spotify had given me the rap and it said that Broke Boys was played in 16 different countries Nice and that's.
Speaker 2:I can't believe it. That's beautiful man, Hell yeah.
Speaker 1:Yeah, and it just shows. It just shows that you can do whatever you want. Set your mind to it, just execute all the way to your fullest. That's my purpose and that's how I just operate.
Speaker 2:I operate in a completely different fucking way, bro and it's crazy to think that you started here in fresno. Yeah, and you probably thought you know like, oh, the people from high school or just at work are gonna hear this yeah but now you're being heard from around the world. Yeah, and you're like damn damn, like my voice has reached that far, like it's crazy to think that whichever podcast they listen to is going to help them go through whatever they are going through.
Speaker 1:And even if they just listen to entertainment, to clean, to the gym, like it doesn't matter, Like I'm grateful to have started this and now to have the platform to whatever I want it to be yeah I don't stick to one concept, I don't stick to one thing, but the podcast is about my life, what I struggle with, what I have issues with finding, navigating like I can tell them.
Speaker 1:I can hop on this podcast and tell them about my day, like I can. Or I can hop on and talk about the news about the whole thing that's going on in the world. I can hop on and talk about the news about the whole thing that's going on in the world. I can sit here and talk about things that happen on tiktok yeah, trending things. Like my platform is literally whatever it wants it to be. It doesn't stick to one thing, but it is about my life, any issues that I go through or any stuff that I express, and it connects with other people and they're able to be like hey, can, can I talk about my stuff? Yeah, absolutely. There's nothing wrong with that, and I don't label myself as a content creator at all. I'm just smart, that's it, I'm just smart.
Speaker 1:I don't gain anything out of it. I don't want to gain anything out of it, I just do it for fun. This is my hobby, this is what I want to do hobby, this is what I want to do and I enjoy it. And, of course, people people are going to see it and people are going to think either super highly of you or super negative of you, and that's fine. I just.
Speaker 2:you just have to learn how to adjust and adjust your life to this whole thing yeah, tune out the negative as well yeah you don't, you don't need to be heading that direction and picking things that you know people are saying and yeah, kind of building this like anger and just let it go, yeah, just let them, let them, let them, let them. I absolutely. I think there's this author, mel robbins, that I've been listening to she says she has the let them theory. Oh my god, I lived through it bro, I'm just like you love that shit, dude. She is the queen of fucking just growth. Well, one of the queens.
Speaker 2:But like no dude, that whole, that whole, and I still haven't had the chance to read it because I have this other book this poetry book that I'm reading, but that's the next one.
Speaker 1:The Lethem Theory.
Speaker 2:She has good points and I'm like, oh, my God bro.
Speaker 1:Because it goes to show how things are. You stop fueling or even giving energy to certain people. How many of them are going to be like, hey, let me reach out to this person, let me reach out to that person, yeah, like no. Once you stop reaching out and constantly trying to be like, hey, how you doing, hey, I haven't heard from you, hey, from this, and they don't reciprocate the energy, and just like, okay, then stop, let them. Let them. Let them.
Speaker 1:If they reach out to you, they reach out to you and then all of a sudden, they want to lie and make up shit about you and throw dirt about you, and all you did was just let them be them. What does that show? It shows the reality of how people are and what they really like do. Like people that are there for you are going to be rooting for you. People that are going to be hating on you are just going to be pretending to be a part of you. That's the hardest thing, bro. That is the hardest thing, and especially when you find out, like snakes in the grass, like paying attention and finding who really supports you and who really just uses you. Yeah, who really supports?
Speaker 2:you and who really just uses you, yeah and it's. It sucks when you have to find out, you know, yeah, cause, then you really think the ones that are really there support you and then you end up finding out that, like you know, like the low key kind, of hating on you at the end.
Speaker 1:And you're like, damn bro, Like like I don't do nothing other than you know try to be there for you.
Speaker 2:It hurts, you know, yeah, yeah, yeah, and if you love wholeheartedly, it's just even it hurts worse.
Speaker 1:Yeah.
Speaker 2:Cause you're like Damn, like we Both went through this and now you have this Other View Of me that like Doesn't make sense and I'm like, wow, damn bro, like that's, that's crazy bro, like I'm sorry for whatever happened to cause this, but I gotta keep going. Yeah, you can't stop.
Speaker 1:You can't let. You can't let what other people dictate your feelings. You can't. You can't let what other people want to say about you, what other people want to criticize about you you can't. You can't let what other people want to say about you, what other people want to criticize about you. You can't let them be having that sense of control over you. Yeah, you got to be you. You got to live your life and live your life and enjoy it. Don't dwell on other people's shit. And that's that's one of the things that I think I could give the best advice for is it takes so much energy to hate somebody and it takes less energy just to let it go and you move on with your life yes, I 100 agree.
Speaker 1:You know, just let it go you know, let it go yeah, don't, don't, don't let it, let it wait on you. Just all right, bro, whatever, continue on with your life, live your life, enjoy it. Don't pay attention to anything that they have on their social media. Don't pay attention to anything that they're doing on with the life, like you have to move on, you have to live your life and then if they're too busy looking at your life or too busy like doing that, hey, it's fine, let them check let them check.
Speaker 2:Yeah, let them check you.
Speaker 1:Let them see like, oh, this dude is living his life and I'm over here pissed off because he left me behind. No, don't dwell on it. Live your life. Enjoy it, bro, because life's too short. Me and you, we've had a lot of friends that died from stupid shit out on the streets, whether it's doing drugs, whether it's getting shot at, whether it's just stupid shit beef. We know people that are forever going to be stuck in their young age and they didn't get to experience how it was to graduate college. They need to experience what it was like to buy a home for the first time.
Speaker 1:Yeah, they didn't experience marriage, like there's a lot of people that we know that aren't in this world anymore, that it's just because of something that happened and it can happen to anybody.
Speaker 2:You could so just live your fucking life live it, live your life, man, love. Right now I am trying to learn how to love myself, and I do, but there's always gonna be more, you know. Yeah, but I'm trying to like, do things that I love, just. I think my goal here is to finally feel free. What does freedom feel to me like? What does freedom mean to me? It's just to do, just to do anything I want without regret, and that's what I want to do. I want to start living life. I want to go talk to my friends, see what they're doing, go spend time with family and just go on a hike, just do shit that I like, and just learn more about myself and just growing, and that's you know. Just love yourself, learn how to love yourself, because then at the end, if you love yourself, they can show other people how to love themselves.
Speaker 1:Yeah, and then you know, or help them, give them the tools, Like this is what helped me, this is what. And it's just like you don't want to be heavy, Like I don't like people that are super preachers, Like no, no, no do this, you got to do it. Like this, you can simply just tell somebody be like hey, these are the tools that helped me. You can take it or leave it.
Speaker 2:Yeah.
Speaker 1:That's it. Whether they want to help themselves or rebuild themselves, that's up to them. Don't sit there and try to help them rebuild.
Speaker 2:You know what? That's also something that I learned, and I was in denial about this.
Speaker 1:Really.
Speaker 2:You cannot change people, no.
Speaker 1:You cannot change people.
Speaker 2:I have so much faith in hope. But, like you, can do all you want to change a person, but at the end of the day, it's them that have to be willing to change. Yes, and you can inspire them. You can inspire them to like you know change.
Speaker 1:Be like. Oh, I want to be like you, yeah.
Speaker 2:Yeah, I get you. I get you, but you but, like, at the end of the day, it's them that have to change and that's something that I had to like, kind of like, you know, not because you're sitting- there, you're just like dude, just do this.
Speaker 1:Yeah, like like. There'll be people like, oh, I want to, I want to get into being a podcaster, I want to get into doing content creation. And you're there, you're just like, it's so easy, just do this, do this, do this.
Speaker 1:And they're like okay, but they don't do it you can't change their mind, you can't change their mindset of like, no, do this. Come on, stick to it, man. Like, do this like this, yeah, like someone's you. It's hard, it's hard that that we want people to change for the better themselves, but we cannot be like, hey, do this, go to therapy, go fix yourself with this, go to church, go no yeah like you can sit there and just don't I don't waste your breath on people that are just going to listen to one ear and then it goes out the other.
Speaker 1:That's what I learned is like don't don't waste your breath on people that aren't going to listen to your advice and for those that you know want to change.
Speaker 2:Change is hard, yeah no, it is hard, but you have, you can find the tools and, you know, create that discipline to slowly change and it's going to be worth it at the end of the day. Yeah, because then you start feeling better, you start doing things differently and now you're like damn, I never thought I could, you know, be like this. I never thought I could be better.
Speaker 2:Yeah, absolutely, yeah, no so, going back to the heartbreak stuff, for those who are going through a heartbreak, I recommend doing a 31 or 30 day no contact, which means whatever photos you have of them, don't look at them. Whatever memo voices, yeah you have, don't look at them toss your whole phone out.
Speaker 1:The window.
Speaker 2:Yeah, touch the phone, and I'm not saying delete them or unfollow them or like just.
Speaker 1:But don't pay attention to them. Yeah, don't pay attention.
Speaker 2:Location, don't pay attention. You need to allow yourself to focus on yourself and not focus on them. And trust me, it's fucking hard, bro. 30 day no contact is no joke. But the first week is hard but after you get through the first week it gets easier and easier. And, yes, you love this person and you know, pray for them. I wish nothing but the best for them. But you got to focus on yourself right now and allow yourself to feel the things that you're feeling and just focus on growing. But yeah, 30 day no contact. Don't look at. No pictures, no text, no voice memos, no locations, no instagram. Yeah, for those I I deleted my social media not not completely, but like just the apps and I just been focusing on reading and just doing shit that I don't do.
Speaker 2:So you know yeah but I just been been allowing myself to grow and not focus on on the negative. But yeah, for those who are going through a hard time right now, 30 day, no contact, first week is hella hard but, like I said, you have friends, family, people that love you reach out to them.
Speaker 1:Yeah, it'll be so much easier. Absolutely, and I'm pretty sure that your friends and families would love to to hear from you and and be with you at the most hardest time in your life.
Speaker 2:Yeah.
Speaker 1:And these are things that happen, and that's okay. We all go through different things. Regardless, just know that you're not alone. You're not alone in a lot of this journey. You're not alone when you're healing. And if you are, reach out to me, reach out to Ivan, reach out to really anybody that's willing to listen to you and know that your self-worth is valuable.
Speaker 2:Yeah, If you're at your lowest, please, please, text anybody. Yes, please text, and don't do anything that you would regret, but just text. You know, reach out to us, or just reach out to anybody that you're close to. Yes, it's going to be okay, I promise you. Yeah, feel what you're feeling.
Speaker 1:Yes, it's gonna be okay, I promise you.
Speaker 2:Yeah, feel what you're feeling, but it's gonna be okay. It's gonna be okay, absolutely, yeah, man absolutely, bro.
Speaker 1:Well, thank you for this deep episode.
Speaker 2:I'm gonna post the other one, oh yeah, I'm gonna post the other, so that way people can see this updated version of it. Oh, please, dude, and again, like, like.
Speaker 1:Like ivan said, you're not alone in a lot of this journey, and if I were to like look back at the moments when I was so depressed and was so hurt and going through so much, I would have definitely reached out to some people that were, that were there for me that I didn't even know yeah and it's family, it's other friends, it's people that really care about you and just know that you are loved, you are cared for.
Speaker 1:People love you. You're not alone in this journey. Don't give up on yourself and, ivan, bro, you especially bro, you can always reach out to me. I always got your back, no matter what. Thank you, and I'm glad to see that you're better and you're not.
Speaker 2:You know, down and out oh for sure, bro, I gotta keep going and you just got this fire, you got this glow.
Speaker 1:Yeah, that's coming out of you, dude, just, and you look good you look better bro, thank you, thank you. You look, it's just glowing yeah, thank you. Not trying to honey dick you, bro, I'm just telling you, I'm just no, no, no, yeah yeah, thank you.
Speaker 2:I'm not trying to honey dick you, bro. I'm just telling you no, no, no, yeah, yeah, yeah, thank you, bro. I appreciate being on this podcast and you allowing me to speak my mind Always bro Always. You're always welcomed. Yeah, and right now, what I do want to say before we go is that I don't regret anything. I love the life that I'm living and it's just gonna get better from here. Fuck yeah, so you know. Hey, we can go deeper on that too, because me and my friend were talking about this shit.
Speaker 2:Yeah, and just to give a little, just a little summary, okay, go ahead. Is that is that I used to work, um, in construction with my brother, right, but the friends that I have now, all my, all my uh, friends from olive garden, uh, my boyfriend cisco, which is he's not like my boy boy, like my brother now, and all these people that I met and that I'm so close to yeah, yeah and I learned so much from them and life somehow was good and it still is good and if I never quit the construction job I would have met.
Speaker 2:I would have never met none of them. And I was talking to my boyfriend, cisco, and I was like dude, if I've never quit construction I would have never met you and he has a big purpose in my life and all the things that I've learned from him I'm like damn.
Speaker 1:Thank you, bro yeah like, I don't like, I don't regret anything you know, shout out to your boy, shout out to my boy francisco.
Speaker 2:I was like I don't regret anything, bro, and I'm happy the way things are going right now. Yeah, life sucks. Get over it. Just keep moving on and try to be better.
Speaker 1:Absolutely don't live your life with full of regrets like, let that go, the the. They're lessons that you learn to be the person that you are today yeah, you are an incredible person, bro. Nobody's ever told you that? Then hear from me is you guys are all incredible people. Don't allow yourself be filled with full of regret. Yeah, live your life, enjoy your life, enjoy the mistakes, especially right now, since we're all in our 20s yeah dude, this is the year for us to make mistakes until we get to our 30s.
Speaker 1:Then I don't know if we can make mistakes. I'm not there yet, but when I get there, I'll let y'all know but in our 20s is definitely just to make mistakes, to learn from them. Do, do the stupid things until you regret it. I'm not saying go have six kids with six different women, but pay attention to what the fuck you're doing.
Speaker 2:It's all going to be worth it bro, just take a deep breath and tell yourself it's going to be okay. Yes, it's going to be okay, man, absolutely Well.
Speaker 1:Thank you guys all for for listening. Thank you guys for staying tuned For another episode of the Broke Boys. I love you guys and I appreciate you guys' patience. Shout out to Ivan. I appreciate you for being out here, bro. And again hopping on here and just being open.
Speaker 2:Yeah, thank you, man. Thank you for allowing me to be here. I love you guys too, and I can't wait to hop on again.
Speaker 1:Absolutely. You're always welcome, bro, you're always welcome. Thank you. So you guys can catch us on Instagram and on TikTok on that's a cod, my bad. You guys can catch us on Instagram and TikTok at brokeboys underscore FF, that's Broke Boys with a Z. You can also listen to Broke Boys literally anywhere, all platforms available iHeartRadio, pandora, spotify, boys literally anywhere, all platforms available. I heart radio, pandora, spotify, um. We have digipod, you have podcasts, you have literally everything. Everything's in my description on instagram and on and on tiktok. I got the link tree, uh, set up so you guys can go ahead and check it out let's go, thank you guys for listening.
Speaker 1:We we love you much love.
